“As I said, let me think about it, and I’ll make a decision in the next few days.”“Thanks.”She stood and when I nodded, she left the office. I picked up the phone and dialed Chicago, using the internal extension numbers.“Anything going on?” I asked Lucas when he answered.“Not really. Elyse, Cindi, and Kimmy are on their way to the airport. I’m guessing that’s why you called me directly.”“It is. If there’s nothing pressing which needs my attention, I’ll let you go. Call my cell if you need me.”“Will do!”We said ‘goodbye’ and hung up, and I went back to Barbara’s office.“Did you know Terry was going to approach me?”“About what?”“Interesting,” I said. “You didn’t know that he and Skye are hanging out a lot?”“That is strictly against policy!”“As friends, it’s only something which needs to be watched, you know, for favoritism. They want an exception to the policy about managers and staff.”“Oh, hell no!” Barbara said firmly. “That is the LAST thing I need in this office!”“I only promised. I would be in a place where no one knew me and if I was seen it wouldn’t get back to anyone who knew me. So I decided to do it.I drove to Barcelona and on my way back, late morning, I stopped to have lunch and stay in a hotel. During the journey on the motorway, I couldn’t stop thinking about what I was about to do. The thought process was complicated. If anybody saw me buying a gay magazine they would know I was gay and that I was probably going to wank over it. That made me feel a bit scared. Then I thought, so what? If someone who didn’t know me, who I would never see again in my life, thought something bad of me, it didn’t matter. I was doing this to find out if I could wank over pictures of naked gay men. I had wanted to do this for years. This was my chance!When I got to the hotel about twelve o’clock I booked a room and then went next door to the restaurant to eat. I had a drink and ordered half a bottle of wine with my meal to give me courage. I finished and left feeling.
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